50 Funny Adult Jokes

Adult Jokes

Everyone can convey their sentiments and emotions through adult jokes. Funny jokes for adults are a fantastic way to calm the body and the mind.

Making filthy Funny jokes for adults are one way to liven up a party if you ever find yourself at one without any children present. It’s time for some filth and dirty jokes that we all secretly crave—dirty jokes or just simple humorous adult jokes that aren’t suitable for school.

For adults only, we have created a selection of funny jokes for adults that are guaranteed to make you laugh out loud. It’s crucial to occasionally take a break from your daily routine and enjoy a good laugh. Here are the funniest jokes for grownups, without further ado.


“My husband left a note on the fridge that said, “This isn’t working.” I’m not sure what he’s talking about. I opened the fridge door and it’s working fine!”


“I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it. Then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.”


“My mom died when we couldn’t remember her blood type. As she died, she kept telling us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without her.”



“Today on a drive, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the people living there if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face. My parents are the worst.”


“Don’t challenge Death to a pillow fight. Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushions.”



“Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you. But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.”


“Do you know the phrase “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure”? Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted.”



“It’s important to establish a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.”



“Want to know how you make any salad into a Caesar salad? Stab it twenty-three times.”



“Today, I asked my phone “Siri, why am I still single?” and it activated the front camera.”



“I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around.””



“You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.”



“I just read that someone in New York gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy.”



“When my Uncle Frank died, he wanted his cremations to be buried in his favorite beer mug. His last wish was to be Frank in Stein.”



“What does my dad have in common with Nemo? They both can’t be found.”



“Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when you push them down the stairs.”



“Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.”



“My wife is mad that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.”



““I’m sorry” and “I apologize” mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.”



“The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him with my gun. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.”



“”My senior relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying things like, “You’ll be next!” They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals.””



“My grief counselor died. He was so good, I don’t even care.”



“Son: “Dad, did you get the results of the DNA test back?”

”Dad: “Call me George.”



“When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.”



“You know you’re not liked when you get handed the camera every time they take a group photo.”



“Where did Joe go after getting lost on a minefield? Everywhere.”



“What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick.”



“My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.”



“My parents raised me as an only child, which really pissed off my sister.”



“What did the Titanic say as it sank? I’m nominating all passengers for the Ice Bucket Challenge!”



“Why did Mozart kill all of his chickens? When he asked them who the best composer was, they all replied, “Bach, Bach, Bach.””



“What is the worst combination of illnesses?

Alzheimer’s and diarrhea. You’re running but can’t remember where”



“My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.”



“If you were born in September, it’s pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.”



“I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed “does anyone know CPR?” I yelled, “I know the entire alphabet” and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except for one person.”



“My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?”



“Why are cigarettes good for the environment?

They kill people.”



“Why does a mermaid wear seashells?

Because she outgrew her B-shells!”



“You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.”



“Man: “Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?”

Doctor: “To the morgue.”

Man: “What? But I’m not dead yet!”

Doctor: “And we’re not there yet.””



“What do you call a gangsta snowman?”




“Why did the music instructor need a ladder?”

“To get to the high notes.”



“I threw a boomerang a few years ago. I now live in constant fear.”



“I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page.”



“Today was the worst day of my life. My ex got hit by a school bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.”



“My boss told me to have a good day. So I went home.”



” My daughter asked me how stars die. “Usually an overdose,” I told her.”



“Why does Santa Claus have such a huge sack?”

“He just comes yearly.”



“For Sale: Parachute. Used once, never opened, small stain.”



“What’s the process of applying for a job at Hooters?

They just give you a bra and say, “Here, fill this out.””